Coming to an End

It is hard to believe that only six months ago I was walking across the stage of my high school graduation and now I am half way through with my first year in college. It is exciting but scary. I am definitely looking forward to break. Looking forward to taking a short break from my busy schedule and just have time with the family to relax and enjoy there presence. But it is scary because we are approaching finals and of course that is stressful and scary because you want to do good and I have to work so much that I am worried I may not do the greatest on the test. But I am trying to stay positive and take all the extra time I can to study so that I be sure to do good on my test. I cannot believe this semester is coming to an end. Only a few more days left in class. It is so crazy. I do wish everyone the best of luck on their finals and a safe Christmas break and the best of luck next semester and the rest of our lives.

Multigenre confusion

I am really excited about this assignment. It is going to allow me to be more creative and it is not just a boring old paper that you have to write all the time. It is taking the paper and making it interesting and more enjoyable for us. The only thing that is hard for me is coming up with something to write about. I have different ideas of what I want to do and I have changed my topic idea more than once. I started on my paper during the free writing and stuff but now I just am not sure if I still want to do that topic or if I want to do another one. And if i choose to stick with this topic, do i want to broaden it up and do the assignment over my entire summer in Florida or just specifically over being there for the birth of Will? If i do just the birth of Will am I going to be able to use that to do and come up with enough topics? I know that if I do the other topic that I am thinking of and do my experience with being engaged and then my ex hitting me with a bat and putting me in the hospital that this assignment will be a piece of cake. But honestly, I like things that are more challenging. All I know is sooner or later I need to pick a topic and stick to it. Preferably sooner rather than later. Does anyone have any opinions on which topic they think I should do?

My freshman year (so far)

I can not believer I am already almost half way done with my freshman year here at Ball State. It just seems like not that long ago I was graduating high school and walking across the stage. This year has been stressful. Between learning how to balance my school and work and still trying to make time for friends it has been a lot. I am glad that my friends are understanding. It has proven to be a lot. I thought coming into college I would be fine. But it has been hard. I went from getting all A's in my senior year of high school to struggling big time in some of my classes in college and getting A's, B's, C's and even a D or two. But i have learned to not be way too hard on myself and just push myself to work harder or ask more questions. I am about 1/8th of the way done with college and that much closer to my future career.

depression

About a year ago or maybe a little less than a year ago, I went to the doctor for my yearly check up. When I went to the doctor I also planned to ask about getting on some type of depression medicine. Both my mom and dad suffer from depression and I had noticed my depression was getting worse. I had no idea how to stop being depressed and get out of my depression. When I talked to her about it she told me she was not going to put me on depression medicine cause she had hoped that I could deal with it on my own and not have to rely on medicine. I was really upset because I did not know how to handle or deal with it and I wanted help from depression medicine. The reason I am mentioning this is because for about a week to two weeks now I have been really depressed and I am not clearly sure why. I still don't know how to handle it and deal with it. Because I have been depressed I have went days without eating cause I have not felt like eating. I know that is not good for my body but anytime i try to force myself to eat it makes me sick. i don't want to have to rely on medication I want to make myself better but at this point i am so far into depression that i have no idea how to help myself and get out. I try to talk to my best friend and that helped me a little bit yesterday but then the depression gets worse and comes right back. I am looking to the internet now for advice on how to get over depression and I hope that I find something soon before this depression completely takes over my life.

The Bad News

Yesterday, October 26, 2010 I woke up thinking it was going to be a good day and that I was going to have a good day. I was able to get someone to cover part of my shift at work so that I could go to my sister's choir concert. However, what started off as an optimistic day turned into a really hard day. And it was not a bad day because of the weather or because i was stuck in a basement full of people that annoyed the crap out of me. It turned into a bad day because sometime between 11am and noon I received a text message from one of my Aunts. She went to the doctor and they found 4 tumors!!! That is a lot of tumors. I have heard of people finding one but never more than one at a time. As of right now they are not sure if its cancer and they are not sure if they are going to be able to do anything for her. Her doctors said there is a really good chance though that it could be cancer. As if that news was not enough, literally a few hours later I received another text message, this time from my grandma. She told me that doctors had found cancer in my great grandma. Now my great grandma and great grandpa are my role models. They are who helped make me who I am. They took me to church and got me involved. When I was having rough times they were there and always showed me so was God and that if they were  not there at the moment that I was never alone. Now both of them are in a nursing home neither of them doing the greatest. We have no idea how bad the cancer is yet. It is sad to say but unfortunately because my great grandma has had bad health for so long now I am just kinda preparing myself and waiting for the text or call saying she has past away. Getting all t hat bad news really made my day hard and rough. I sat in my dorm by myself and just cried when my roommate was in class. I just keep praying they caught the cancer early enough in both of my relatives that something can be done and they can get help. But I also know that in the event they can not help them and we lose them soon I know I will never be alone thanks to my great grandparents.

Group Research So Far

So far for our research I have fond a few sources and facts that I plan to use in my paper and that we could use in our presentation. We have all discussed our group proposal and we split  up the parts of our proposal so that each person on our group can have an equal part and responsibility in our group proposal. I have already done my part of the proposal for tomorrow. I am not too sure on all the progress my group has made but I have kept up my part and done the research and my part of the proposal. I am waiting to see if anyone else in my group decides to do their part in the proposal and if not I will do it tonight too. But this is the progress of our group proposal and research as of today.

Research Paper Progress

So for today's blog we are suppose to write about the progress of our papers that we are suppose to do with a group and by ourselves. Well I had to miss class Wednesday because of a midterm that I had to take and that was the only time available for that day. Due to the fact that I missed class  I have no idea what is going on with the paper. I do not know who is in my group or nothing. I tried emailing Dr. Hartman to ask him  about what is going on with the paper and group stuff and tried asking a few fellow classmates but nobody that I contacted including the teacher bothered to get back to me. Therefore, I have not done any research, not picked a topic, have no group, do not even understand the assignment or nothing. i know it is my responsibility but when nobody will help you understand what is going on what are you suppose to do? This assignment is a disaster for me right now  and I am worried I may end up failing this assignment something I do  not do and can not afford to do.